What's the Ideal Space?

Olivia, Jenny, Collin (circa 1993-4)

So, we all know how the story goes, right? You get married and people ask you when you're going to start trying for a baby; you have said baby and right away, people ask when baby number two is coming along. It's sort of just the way life is, people are nosy and want to know. Personally, I don't really care if you ask me these questions because I'll tell you the truth. When the world started asking me when baby number two was coming along my response is always, "when I can find some time to sleep and think about it?"

Tess, Olivia, Collin, Jenny (around 2002-3)

As I run across random strangers in the world, people tend to fall into two camps: have kids all at once, or have kids spaced out. People will ask me, "do you want another?" and I'll say yes, and then they will inevitably respond with their story, either a) I had three kids within three years and I'm so glad they were close in age and I got those years over with! or, b) I had my kids five years apart and I am so glad I had time to recover after the first! It can make a mom's head spin, all of these stories!

I was two years and four months old when Jenny was born, and due to our lovely relationship, I never second guessed the time frame and always sort of assumed I would follow that path. Collin was born when I was six, so my parents waited almost double time to have him than they did with Jenny. And, I was thirteen when our dad and his girlfriend had Tess, so I saw life from that perspective as well. I tend to fall into the two-to-three years camp. I'm not nearly ready yet to have another baby...I love not being pregnant right now, and Weston still needs his mama's attention! Quite frankly, I'm not exactly sure how you do life with two kids...any input on that one?

On the other hand, many family members and friends have babies very close in age, and I can see the perks of that also. A friend with three under three recently told me that she just assumed the next few years would be chaos and to go with it; I liked that perspective, but I don't know if I could handle it!