The Wedding Industrial Complex and Why I Hate It

For a person that is not engaged I spend a lot of time at weddings, after all my job is to marry people. Most of the time I get to float around the fringes of the wedding industrial complex. I don't have to deal with rude venue concierges, florists, wedding planners- I get to meet a great couple at the Manhattan side of the Brooklyn Bridge and walk with them to the center where we promptly get them married. When I DO see and meet other wedding vendors it's usually at events like Toasted BK, where exactly ALL of the vendors were smiling, happy and friendlier than you can even imagine. So when I come up against the traditional wedding venue, older vendor set and they are unsmiling, grumpy and rude- I am shocked and appalled. For a number of reasons. Today I ventured to a number of venues to drop off business cards and make introductions. I then got a call from a man who runs wedding expos. And I capped it off with a trip to the Bridal Salon to try on dresses for Melanie's wedding. A lot of wedding related stuff for a non-engaged person.

• I am a future bride, as far as they know I am a current bride. So when I walk into a venue or a bridal salon LOOK UP. SAY HELLO. IN SOME WAY RECOGNIZE I AM A HUMAN. WITH A CREDIT CARD. I went into two places today where the women were on the phone when I walked in- that is beyond okay- what's NOT okay is not even smiling in my direction. Put up one finger to show me you see me there. Give me the "go shop" hand wave. Literally anything. Instead both women acted like they didn't see me. In a third place the man was with a customer and flat out ignored me. I thought I had entered the wrong way and was interrupting. Well done, you made a potential client feel foolish and embarrassed. Might I add all this happened before any of them knew that I am not a bride and was not about to drop anywhere between two and twenty thousand dollars at their business. I told the woman at Crest Hollow Country Club (so lovely, her and the space) that all the difficult people were making it really, really easy for me to edit out places for when I am compiling my own lists. Thanks, haters!
• Planning a wedding is really stressful. I know from every angle. Know what doesn't help stress? Dealing with miserable people. Will it alleviate all your agita to deal with happy, smiling vendors? No- but it will make the whole planning process a little nicer, a little brighter. Listen, I know we vendors do this all the time- bride's anxieties can seem silly and dull to us. I get it, I am one of you [vendors]. But hopefully this is the bride or grooms only wedding. So would it hurt you to smile and act like you're actually excited for them? Who cares if you don't know them or they don't hire you? They're excited, it doesn't cost you anything to share in that. 

• Crest Hollow looked so cozy and warm on this yucky rainy day!