Happy Monday lovelies! Hope the weekend was magical – we had some fantastic weather in NYC on Sunday even though I ended up missing out on most of the day stuck in an airport until my flight was eventually cancelled. Boo! But on the upside I’m not in Des Moines, IA right now giving an account review ;). The little things… A few weeks back, I wrote about being mistakenly identified as a pregnant lady in a diner. Olivia chimed in with her own outrageous mistake pregnancy story too. Any woman I spoke to about the flub was angered and often offered up her own similar tale. Apparently pregnancy is not the only assumed state that throws me into a tizzy. Last week a dear friend and coworker got engaged to her longtime boyfriend. Yay! The ring! The story! The boy! The reveal to parents! All very exciting – everyone in the office was absolutely gushing last Monday morning over my friend’s engagement. I was no different.
When I mentioned the engagement to certain parties in my life the immediate reaction was “Great! Now when are you getting engaged?” Really? In 2012 I actually know people that are concerned that four years without a ring is a little too long? And trust me ladies, these inquires were not meant in a friendly way. More of a ‘it’s-about-time’ manner. I was more than a little embarrassed about the fact that I’m not engaged – even though I’m not! I’m not ready. Please, if Dan and I were engaged we wouldn’t be married for at least five years. I admire you brides, I can barely plan dinner, how could I possibly plan a wedding? I mean should people really be concerned that I’m not engaged right now? I feel like I have a lifetime to get married. As far as I can tell I’m not about to turn into an old maid anytime soon! I was just bothered because here I was telling a really nice story about my girlfriend’s engagement and all you’ve been thinking about is why aren’t I also engaged?
I think living together, the act of consciously moving in with your significant other, is often seen as a logical precursor to engagement. I agree, but I don’t think there is a time limit! (editor's note: check out these two posts from today's A Practical Wedding on living together and not being ready to live together) Are couples living together un-engaged for a while perceived as having problems? Maybe I’m being overly sensitive. I mean, let’s face it, we have all probably encountered this kind of probing from mom, grandma or an annoying aunt at some point, right? But from a peer – a woman the same age as me – concerned about my lack of engagement? I was floored. I was just unprepared for the question as if I was being compared to my friend. We’re not the same person!
What do you think? Engagement questions? Appropriate or inappropriate – if you think there is a time and place let me know!
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| (And because I know you were all wondering, here's my girlfriend's bling !!!) |
editor's note: When I opened this post to edit and saw the photo, I have to humbly admit that I screamed. ALI IS ENGAGED? Whoops! Note to self: read post before you make assumptions! Also, my two cents: we moved into together after 5 months of dating, and we were engaged after a year, and married 10 months later. It worked FOR US. Looking back, I am so, so glad we had a "short" engagement...I couldn't possibly wedding-plan for much longer than I did! Now, however, we're off on that boat of "thinking about kids?" "got the itch for kids?" "babies on your mind?"...last week while on a whale watch with my 8th grade (yes, I have the coolest job ever!) I got incredibly seasick...and when I told people, they immediately gave me the raised eyebrow. SEASICK, people! -- Olivia
Oh no?! So the questions never stop?!!? I guess I have to get a thicker skin ;)
ReplyDeleteI generally say, "We are already committed." That question is usually posed by coworkers or extended family members.
ReplyDeleteI might, out of shock, drop a less nice word if the question were to come from a peer.