Cohabitable: Un-Lovely Assumptions!

I apologize in advance, readers; this is going to be a bit of a rant post. Oh, and pardon my goofball picture, but I need you to see the dress in question. I promise this

To borrow a phrase from Olivia "'Lovelies, the other day I joined a group for the first time. The group was titled, "someone asked me if I was expecting a child and I was not.'" True story. Unfortunately, I joined the same group this weekend.

On Saturday, Dan and I went out for a late breakfast. I believe in some circles this is referred to as ‘brunch’. We decided to head into Jersey City since we wanted to also go to IKEA to browse for some new furniture. While wolfing down some potato skins (classy, I know, but it was St. Patrick’s Day) an older gentleman walked past our table. He paused, grabbed one of the empty chairs and turned to face the two of us. Honestly, I panicked at first; I thought he was having a heart attack or stroke because he reacted so suddenly.

He doesn’t collapse on the floor (thank goodness!) instead he says to me “I just wanted to stop and tell you how lovely you look.” Ok, so at least we’re starting out on a positive note. He should have stopped while he was ahead, because the next words out of his mouth were completely nonsensical.

“You remind me of my daughter. I just, I just. You know some people when they are like you, they dress so..so.. I just want to say congratulations on your pregnancy.”

…

I think my face was a real like ellipsis. All I could do was smile and say thank you. I had no clue how to react! I was duped! I thought this kindly old man just wanted to tell me how lovely I looked in front of my boyfriend. You know like some old cad reliving his glory days. Instead he wanted to let me know I was pregnant.

He wandered off and I sat in silence for a few seconds before I told Dan that I was going to cry. Pregnant! Really? I am probably the skinniest I’ve been since puberty right now. I became insanely self-conscious for the rest of the day. Was it what I was wearing? I thought the dress was sweet! Was it that I was eating? Great way to give a girl an eating disorder, guy!

I think more than being told I was pregnant (therefore implying I look pregnant) I was mad that I didn’t say anything. How could I, I was completely shocked! I was out to brunch with my boyfriend. I did not ask for a compliment. I was not sending out the ‘talk to me’ vibe. Why did he feel the need to interrupt our meal for that word vomit? It’s NOT ok to walk up to a stranger and say that to her. Are you joking? Do I walk up to random people and comment on his or her weight/hair/clothes/lifestyle? No. Why is it ok then for some totally random stranger to comment on my (non-existent) pregnancy? I don’t know how everyone else feels about this, but it’s not. It’s not cool at all.

Uhg. Not lovely at all!